Thursday 26 September 2013

A little trans baby comes of age



#auntysallymoment

14 years ago, a little queer baby of all gender identities was born.

The little baby was named Transgender Victoria. It had queer parents and relatives and God-parents as part of its tribe to give it wisdom and guidance – just what a child needs to get a good start in life.
The child therefore stayed close to its soul as it grew up.

Close enough to time, last night the child had a mitzvah. All the family and friends, queer or otherwise, came.

There was food, speeches, laughter and a drop of alcohol too – just like any good mitzvah and subsequent party. J

Like any parent, guardian or relative, last night Aunty Sally was proud, a little blissfully dazed and a little emotional seeing that the little baby was growing up in the right puberty on the way to adulthood.

Like any blossoming young adult, teenage Transgender Victoria now has new friends and adults of its own in its life. In this case, this means a corporate sponsor, major partners in the government sector and NGOS, politicians and more.

Like any relative, Aunty Sally nurtured the little child. Aunty she may be - it was a parent-child relationship. Like many parents etc, Aunty Sally had fears at times for the child because she just wanted it to grow up safe and happy and strong.  And the child has grown up. Now Aunty Sally’s relationship to the child shifts to an adult-adult relationship.

Thank you to all the adults, Kenton Miller, Janet Jukes and Kayleen White who are its parents and even though she probably doesn’t know it, to Julie Peters who Transgender Victoria’s (fairy) god-mother.

Thank you to Lauren Christopher, Brenda Appleton and Jayne Monroe who are its aunties.

Thank you so much to family members Gavriil Alexandrs, Sarah Rogan, Lou Cooper and Grace Lee who organised the mitzvah so efficiently with lots of other friends and family helping out.

Thank you to all the family and friends who came.

The young adult and some relatives might be a little emotionally hung over for a while. Be assured you will hear about the young adult continuing to grow up after we clear our heads a bit.
J

The young adult, having been nurtured well as a child, is ready to do lots of nurturing for others. With family members Grace, Sally, Lauren, Brenda, Gavril , Lou , Sally C and Nikki the young adult will have lots of loving, wise and good-humoured relatives as mentors to guide it.

And given that 101 family and friends turned up to the mitzvah, the wedding/similar ceremony – whenever it happens – will definitely be a big queer event!

Sunday 22 September 2013

Federal law update

There have been lots of developments over the last few months for trans and gender diverse (and other parts of the rainbow too). Here is yours truly chatting with the fab Cannon O'Saurus on BENT TV about them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxYTxgjTMbU&feature=youtu.be

Please spread far and wide.

PS The interview was recorded in late July - where at 8:05 I mention "we don't have a date" [re federal EO law] the laws are now definitely in force.

Saturday 14 September 2013

Reflections of a Jewish trans woman on Yom Kippur

Reflections of a Jewish trans woman on Yom Kippur: 

What does a trans woman do with her Kippah and Talit after affirming her identity?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kippah
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tallit

I always remember the Bar Mitzvah (Jewish coming of age ritual) held close to my 13th physical birthday (1978). I remember wearing for the first time my Kippah and Talit. I admit I didn’t feel I had moved from boy to man (even allowing for nerves over all the readings and the speech at the party afterwards). With hindsight, I obviously could never move from boy to man because I never really could be a male of any age.

But I did like the new Kippah and shiny Talit.  There was something about their aura and their Jewishness that...well, was a feeling I can’t describe...a sense of spirituality perhaps?

Our family was not the most synagogue-going family   As liberal (now reform/progressive) Jews, we only went on High Holy days, weddings and Mitzvahs (there may have been a Bas Mitzvah, honestly can’t remember). There were Passover gatherings. I only wore the 2 items a handful of times, but always, that sense of something.

And then the relatively standard trans woman story...not being able to force down my trans truth, coming out in 1995 and transition at aged 32 in 1998 to affirm my female identity.

And never wear my Kippah and Talit again.

Since 1998, I’ve moved house 5 times. Most house moves involve a sense of purging. But not once have I ever considered parting with my Kippah and Talit and their velvet bag. I’ve got this part of my “male” past I want to keep – something which not many trans people experience? I’m comfortable enough about “the first part of my life” – stuff happens. I doubt I’d be alive if I tried to come out any earlier. I was meant to be around to do advocacy from about 2000 onwards. I went through the first 30 years or so and I learnt stuff about lifer and people that guides me today etc etc. But such a male-specific connection remains...

I can’t just throw out the Kippah and Talit – and there are other reasons. Dad (born in the United Kingdom) went to the same store in London to get my Kippah and Talit as my grandfather had before him to get his (my dad’s). I’d feel like I was dishonouring Dad (and I love him - and mum - hugely) and my granddad (who passed away before I was born) if I did that. I obviously have no desire to hurt them. Unlikely I’d ever have kids; if I had a son I’d love to get that Kippah and Talit from the same store, even if it was by mail order or online.

I plan to live as long as I can. I love my life and what I do to advocate for trans (and the rest of the rainbow) and other things too. I want to keep doing it for a long time. But we all gotta go sometime. Fair enough – so long as it’s quick and painless and that sort of thing, fine.

But it raises a thought. I believe the tradition is to have Kippah and Talit buried with a person. Is that what I want? Will my female spirit want that for eternity? (Can I dictate to my spirit after I’m physically gone – there’s a curly question  )

I don’t have an answer. I wonder if any Jewish trans women have faced this dilemma, and how they resolved it.

Because I simply don’t know.

Wishing all the highest of high holy days.

Saturday 7 September 2013

We won't be fooled again
A thought...regardless of one's political viewpoint...
Aunty Sally remembers 1996 when Howard was elected. There was some belief he would be moderate - and of course that turned out to be a furphy. People were caught off guard somewhat...
We know what Abbott is like already - remember he was an architect of the Howard era. While some will give Tony a honeymoon, for those who oppose him - don't.
For example, he said "we'll stop the boats from day one." That's today. So if one boat turns up - hold him to it.
One budget cut that wasn't mentioned...he campaigned on trust...can he be trusted?
And so on...
In the words of "The Who..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q